Fighting Right: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Conflict in Marriage

April 2, 2025 | The Way of Life Church Blog

Fighting Right: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Conflict in Marriage

Conflict is inevitable in marriage, but how we handle it makes all the difference. While many couples take unhelpful positions during disagreements - like giving the silent treatment or keeping score - there's a biblical way to approach conflict that strengthens rather than weakens relationships.

Why Do Couples Fight?

At the root of most marital conflicts is a focus on getting our own way rather than maintaining unity. James 4:1-2 reveals that quarrels arise from unfulfilled desires and passions warring within us. When we're more concerned about our wants than our oneness, conflict escalates.

Three Keys to Handling Conflict Biblically

1. Avoid Unnecessary Conflict

Not everything needs to be a fight. Proverbs 17:14 warns that starting strife is like breaching a dam - it's better to stop before the quarrel breaks out. You don't have to accept every invitation to argue.

2. Prepare for Inevitable Conflict

Have a plan in place for when disagreements arise:

• Designate a specific place for resolving conflicts
• Create a covenant or guidelines to follow
• Agree to pray or read Scripture together first
• Focus on maintaining a spiritual mindset

3. Be a Peacemaker (PEACE)

Follow the PEACE acronym:

• Pause and Pray - Stop to seek God's help
• Engage by Listening - Seek to understand, not just respond
• Admit Your Part - Take responsibility for your contribution
• Communicate Truth in Love - Share observations, not judgments
• Extend Forgiveness - Follow Christ's example of forgiving

The Power of Forgiveness in Marriage

As Christians, we're called to forgive because we've been forgiven. Ruth Graham said, "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." Our ability to forgive fl ows from understanding how Christ has forgiven us.

Life Application

This week, take one of these practical steps:

• Create a conflict resolution covenant with your spouse based on 1 Corinthians 13
• Schedule a weekly check-in to ask, "Is there anything I've done that has frustrated or hurt you?"

Questions to Consider:

• Which unhealthy conflict position do I tend to take?
• Am I more focused on being right or maintaining unity?
• How can I better reflect Christ's forgiveness in my marriage?
• What specific steps will I take this week to be a peacemaker?

Remember: Like a properly set broken bone grows stronger, conflicts handled biblically can strengthen your marriage. Choose to be a bridge-builder rather than a wall-builder in your relationship.

Understanding God's Design for Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

March 17, 2025 | The Way of Life Church Blog

Understanding God's Design for Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

Sexual intimacy is a precious gift from God designed specifically for marriage. While our culture often misrepresents its purpose, Scripture provides clear guidance on how this gift should be understood and expressed within marriage.

What is the Biblical Purpose of Sexual Intimacy?

Sexual intimacy serves three key purposes in marriage:

• It seals the oneness. The physical act confirms and completes the marriage covenant
• It yields oneness. Through procreation, two become one flesh
• It shields oneness. Regular intimacy protects the marriage relationship

Why is Sexual Intimacy Important in Marriage?

Studies show up to 74% of divorces correlate to sexless marriages (defined as intimacy 10 times or fewer per year). Scripture teaches that depriving one's spouse of physical intimacy creates vulnerability to temptation.

What Does the Bible Say About Marriage and Intimacy?

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 establishes that:

• Spouses have conjugal rights to physical intimacy
• Neither spouse has sole authority over their body
• Couples should only abstain briefly by mutual agreement for prayer
• Regular intimacy helps protect against temptation

How Should Couples Address Intimacy Issues?

Like tending a garden, intimacy requires consistent nurturing.

• Start with emotional and spiritual connection
• Communicate openly about needs and concerns
• Remember intimacy reflects complete giving of oneself
• Focus on expressing oneness, not just physical acts
• Make time for regular connection

Life Application

This week, take steps to strengthen intimacy in your marriage:

For beginners:

• Plan intentional connection time
• Practice physical touch like hand-holding
• Share a 6-second kiss daily

For advanced couples:

• Accept the "touch and agree" challenge
• Commit to intimate connection at least 4 days this week
• When not physically connecting, pray together

Questions to Consider:

• How am I viewing intimacy—as a gift or an obligation?
• Am I fully giving myself to my spouse emotionally, spiritually, and physically?
• What steps can I take this week to nurture greater intimacy in my marriage?
• How can I better reflect God's design for oneness in my marriage?

Remember: Sexual intimacy is God's gift for strengthening marriage bonds. When approached according to His design, it brings joy, protection and deeper connection between spouses.